Another problem I possess is the inability to express myself properly. The other day I pulled into a well-known, fast-food, place?™s drive-thru and ordered my usual ?˜chicken taco salad.??I assume they heard me because they asked if I wanted ?œhaormadsews??which I translated on prior trips to say, ?œhot-or-mild sauce.??I declined, as I always do, and picked up my order. As I pulled away, I peered into the bag to discover a cheeseburger with fries. Why would that include ?œhaormadsews??anyway, I thought? Pulling back around, I now spent and additional twenty minutes going into the restaurant, waiting in line and finally getting my correct order. Instead of apologizing, the clerk inform me I must have said something that sounded like ?œcheeseburger.??To which I replied, ?œChicken taco salad??could, if one were, say, Chinese, sound EXACTLY like ?œcheeseburger.??Chalk up disability number three.

I have to admit that I have a fourth disability that is equally troublesome: failure to recognize the true problem. I?™ve purchased a variety of domains and hosting sites online and had numerous problems. When I call for technical support usually one of the following occurs. I wait on hold for 30 minutes to discover the office is closed and I?™m invited to leave a number or visit their site for FAQ?™s or technical assistance. I?™ve left many messages, which were ignored, so I call back. Now I get a nice gentleman named Sabu in Bombay, India. Although he is quite polite, he has an accent that could bring Professor Henry Higgins to his knees. I ask him to repeat every answer many times and still can?™t figure out what he?™s saying. Eventually, I realize the futility of the situation and hang up. Then he sends an e-mail apologizing for the communication problem and detailing my real problem: my computer?™s probably out of memory.

So I dash to my local computer dealer (another national chain) and they sell me more memory. Back home, nothing works. I return to the shop and they sell me a new hard drive. Home again, still no luck. Four hundred dollars and several other parts later, they tell me to get a whole new computer and no, they won?™t give me a refund on the ?œused??parts they sold me just two days ago. So I bite the bullet, buy a new computer, but not from them, the greedy #$%@*!